Thinks on Things

A gathering of ponderings…

Breaking the Silence

So naturally this is the place where I would apologize for not being around to post anything new… “I’m sorry.”

Anyway, in contrast to my silence online I wonder if God has not been so silent lately in my life. Or rather, maybe he has been silent for my own good up until now. Recently I went to a Boot Camp for men to learn more about how God wants to shape my life as a real man. Among many things I learned, I was also granted the opportunity for what I believe to be a glimpse of the future, a parting of the veil to see the “big picture” of God’s plan. It was a great and beautiful vision of one possibility of what could really happen in my life. It involved many aspects of my life taken to a deeper level with lots of people, some I know, some I will meet later. Without going into too details I’ll say that it was an awesome experience! And it scares the crap out of me.

I have not yet been able to think on this vision without being overcome with a rush of full scale emotions, good and bad. Some of these emotions provide a sense of simple peace, some make me angry. Sometimes I find myself extremly depressed, other times full of hope. And it may be a ploy of the Enemy, but I do not believe that I have the strength or courage to do what may be required to fulfill my part of this. In seeing my current response I am unimaginably grateful to God for not revealing this to me sooner as I had often asked him to do. It is now clear to me that I was not ready for such a revelation.

Obviously, now would be the time to take steps toward allowing this vision to become a reality. That would be truly amazing to have happen! But there are some major roadblocks in my way that I need to deal with. Last Sunday I had to remove myself from the service because I was not fit to take the Communion, especially after hearing a sermon about forgiveness. This is just one of my struggles between what is and what could be. This is a tough journey for me to make and I hope I can find the strength to fight a good fight and find peace in accepting whatever the result turns out to be.

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July 4, 2007 - Posted by | All My Thinks

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