Thinks on Things

A gathering of ponderings…

Nibbled to Death by Ducks

Alright I know I’m a lunatic when it comes to doing stupid things. Like pretending I know how to ski like a Olympic Champion and attempt a 360-degree jump without breaking my neck and actually landing it? Or how about barreling down a steep hill on a bike while dodging trees and rocks and cement walls with exposed rebar? Or taking a blind running leap from a 15-foot hay loft in the dark simply to avoid being tagged in a game?

So why does it seem that, while never breaking any of my bones in all my life, I seem to get all of the little sized injuries? Does anyone else get physically hurt like this so easily?It’s backwards isn’t it? It seems that I am the only one I know who is always slamming fingers in cupboard doors or banging shins on table legs or slicing a finger with X-Acto knives or getting stabbed with staples? Or finding the only exposed metal on the base of the couch the only time I choose to go barefoot in my room and cause a 3-inch gash along the side of my foot?

Does anyone else have this happen to people all the time? Or do they just not say anything about it? Why do I feel like these are are really attacks of some kind rather than simple oversights or coincidences? I feel like I could seriously go “kill a lion in a pit on a snowy day” like Benaiah but I would probably trip on a rock on my way out or pinch my thumb while sheathing my knife or anything equally as stupid. Like I could survive countless nuclear missile attacks but be leveled by a common cold germ as in War of the Worlds.

John Eldredge says in Wild at Heart that one thing men desprately need is to be tested in a conflict or battle of some sort to know that they have what it takes. Sort of a validation of being a man by passing a test. I say bring on the tests! But it’s the homework that will fail me out of the class.

I think I’m getting angry at being hurt. I can do some pretty big things and not get hurt at all but I have a gnawing feeling that the seemingly harmless and preventable annoyances will eventually be the death of me.


January 31, 2007 Posted by | All My Thinks | Leave a comment

What’s taking so long?

Sorry to anyone who actually reads my thinks here but I have been rather busy or intentionally distracted/detached or whatever.

Quickly updating, I began reading a book called The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning and I got caught up in some deeper stuff than I thought possible. I’m getting poked in places I don’t want to be poked, but it is making me think and maybe some of those thoughts will make their way over to here…

January 29, 2007 Posted by | All My Thinks | 1 Comment


I just spent some time surfing the net trying to distract myself from my complicated life and it’s painful realities.

Here is a humorous video showing the importance of proper male restroom etiquette and possible drastic repercussions following even small violations.

Some things you just shouldn’t do if you are not in a pool.

Here is a video showing some cool science with a magnet and some liquid nitrogen, aka superconductor.

Ever seen choreographed stunt flying… with a remote controlled plane?

Maybe Jesus’ disciples did just knew where to fish like these guys?

This is a smart degu (not mine, but just as cute).

This is why I want a Mini Cooper!

Here is a news story from MSN about pandas mating more successfully after watching some panda porn. Video here.


January 19, 2007 Posted by | All My Thinks | Leave a comment

$6.022×10^23 Question

My name is Lael Andrew Jensen and someday I could be king.

Let’s set the stage first and break this down by technical definitions. By looking at names I am Hebrew, Greek, and Danish.

Lael is a Hebrew given name meaning “devoted to God”. It is a Biblical male name (Numbers 3:24) occasionally used for girls and doesn’t even rank on the popularity charts of the US Census on this site. There is, however, a Bible college in Missouri bearing the name.

Andrew is the English form of a Greek given name meaning “manly” or “warrior”. Since the 1990s it has been among the top-ten most popular names for boys. This counteracts the lack of familiarity my first name has.

Jensen is a Scandinavian surname with a Danish ending (“-en”) meaning “son of Jens”. It is the most common surname in Denmark where it is shared by about 6% of the population. It is a surname but it cannot be mine as my father is Russell, not Jens. But since Russell is either Scottish or French, the Danish ending “-en” would have to be converted to “-on” to avoid mixed nationalities in the same name. Therefore I should properly be called Russellson.

Getting into actual relatives’ bloodlines we can travel throughout many European countries. I don’t know for certain but included would most likely be the typical Hienz 57 varieties: England, a smidgen of Scotland, Ireland, throw in some France, a bit of Spain, perhaps Germany, Denmark, maybe some Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, a dash of Finland… That’s about as far East as I’m willing to venture with limited accuracy.

Some notable histoical figures in my lineage include:
1) On my father’s side- Sir Walter Raleigh, 1552-1618; English writer, poet, coutrier, explorer, conqueror. Explorer to North and South America, founder of the historical and mysterious Roanoke Island, imprisoned for forbidden romance with the Queen Elizabeth’s lady-in-waiting, wrote a historical account of ancient Greece and Rome, sentenced to life in prison in the Tower of London for supposed treason against King James, and eventually (perhaps unnecessarily) beheaded for sacking a Spanish outpost shortly after his release. Born into nobility, honored through knighthood, dishonored pursuing love, favor restored, loosely convicted and imprisoned, and triumphant at his death, saying of the axe, “This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases.” His last words were, “Strike man, strike!”
2) On my mother’s side- Elizabeth Blackwell 1821-1910; English born, abolishionist, women’s rights activist, doctor, teacher. First woman physician and doctor in both America and England, founded an infirmary and medical college for women in both New York City and London, and wrote a sex education guide.

So here I am today. Heir of legendary nobility and famous contributors to world history, mixed with countless European nationalities, donning an incorrect Hebrew-Greek-Danish name of contradictions and impossibilies…

I am truly a work of art. My one question (and this is worth more than a million dollars, Regis), is how many steps removed am I from inheriting the throne of any country in my heritage?

Does anyone reading this know any part of their history or lineage and care to share?

January 14, 2007 Posted by | All My Thinks | 3 Comments

Unfathomable Walls and Bottomless Pits

I have a problem with God. It’s a bad problem and I don’t really know how to explain it. I’ll try anyway.

In my wanderings of ponderings I’ve discovered a disturbing thing. I seem to be shutting down. Against my will. I don’t want it to happen but it is. Since I’ve decided to try opening up my life and trust more deeply it’s been getting harder and harder. I keep finding things about myself that I just plain don’t want to share. I don’t want to be around people or talk about my problems. So I shut down and I’ve been getting cynical and bitter about many things. I figure it’s better to be honestly bitter than have a front of fake joyfulness.

My life seems to be going downhill and now I wonder where the bottom is? Isn’t the bottom where you realize that you can’t do anything without God’s help and finally turn to Him and plead for help? Well, I thought I had been there but it seems something is wrong.

1) Maybe this isn’t the bottom and I will become more pessimistic.
2) Maybe I haven’t ask God hard enough?
3) Maybe God doesn’t see fit to help me right now.

I need God to do something in my heart because I can’t do it. I heard a song on the radio on a station I never listen to. Here is the chorus:

There’s a wall in your heart
That no one can get through
And it’s cold, and it’s dark
And you don’t have a clue.

But this wall, it will fall
If it’s the last thing I do
I’ll get through
This wall in your heart.

I felt like the words were what I needed to hear from God. But something just isn’t right. The words are nice and it speaks of what I need but I don’t feel like it was God speaking. I don’t feel God is fighting or breaking through at all. Call me a heretic and burn me at the stake but that’s what I feel and I don’t know how to break down walls if He won’t help me.

Advice and prayers are very welcome.

January 10, 2007 Posted by | All My Thinks | 2 Comments

Random Belated Holiday Ramblings

Well… Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s. They’ve all come and gone and now we eagerly look forward to what, President’s Day?

But seriously, I’m glad these ‘Happy Holidays’ are over. Now I can maybe get back to the introspection and not have to be all smiley for everyone. Really, you have no idea how exhausting it can be to entertain 75 junior and senior highers for a New Year’s Eve all-night lock-in! Not only was it draining for the simple physical limitations but also mentally and emotionally.

Isn’t the ‘Holiday Season’ supposed to be happy and cheerful? So am I a bad person if I don’t feel like that? Am I a badder person for pretending to be?

Really I can’t say that I enjoyed this season. The weather was pretty lousy! If it hadn’t snowed on Dec 31 we would have entered 2007 with no snow on the ground and temperatures in the 30’s. Global warming? Or just an overly creative and cynically depressed imagination?

I can’t believe how horribly I’ve treated one of my friends. I’m pretty much the worst person I know. Probably the worst person you know, but you don’t really know it. Go figure. I wonder if I’m just rubbing off on people and ruining their Holiday experiences as well.

New Year’s resolutions:
1. Re-establish tithing habits.
2. Continue conversing with God.
3. Be real.

Sorry that this was all so random but really who cares? Life isn’t organized how we would like it anyway so why should my blog have to be…?

January 4, 2007 Posted by | All My Thinks | 1 Comment